coincidence?

EVERYTIME I POST ON HERE– I FAIL–I BINGE–I GET DEPRESSED– I FALL OFF THE WAGON

I THINK ITS BECAUSE I ONLY POST WHEN IM AT A GOOD PLACE IN MY LIFE AND I GET TOO CONFIDENT AND SLACK OFF

WELL THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS I HAVENT SEEN MUCH CHANGE IN MY BODY….AT THE BEGINNING MY BODY CHANGED QUITE QUICKLY…BUT ITS NOT COMING TO A SLOWDOWN, BUT I CANT GIVE UP, AT THIS POINT IN TIME I USUALLY GIVE UP AND REALLY REGRET IT. SO YES….TONIGHT I DID GIVE IN AND EAT BAD…I WAS GOING TO STOP AT MCDONALDS BUT I DIDNT THANK GOD…..I HAD 2 PACKS OF MINI M AND M, SPAGHETTI AT GRANDPAS, 2 PIECES OF FRENCH BREAD, A DOVE ICE CREAM BAR, TATER TOTS AND A BUNCH OF EGG ROLLS AND MY 3RD QUEST BAR OF THE DAY WHAT THE FUCK….WHAT INSPIRED THIS??? 

I TOLD SEAN ORIGINALLY I DIDNT WANT PASTA AT G-PAS BUT THEN I FELT HUNGRY AND SAID OK I WILL HAVE A LITTLE, WELL A LITTLE TURNED INTO THE WHOLE PLATE AND BC I FELT GUILTY I EMBARKED ON A JOURNEY OF CHERRY PIE, AND THEN THE REST CAME AFTER. I FEEL LIKE WHEN I FELT LIKE I HAVE “FAILED” I TOTALLY GIVE IN AND SAY “FUCK IT” BUT I NEED TO REMEMBER THAT…..

IF ONE TIRE GOES FLAT, YOU DONT GO SLASHING THE REST OF THE TIRES BECAUSE OF IT…THATS WHAT I DO….BCK ON TRACK TOMORROW

 

where am I now….

Where am I from the last time I posted here?

welll quite frankly this is what I can remember from the last time I posted her….depressed, anxious, gained over 20 lb in weight. was at 158 lb….not working out…binging EVERYDAY…sometimes more than twice a day….tried weight watchers, tried a counselor tried seeing a psych, even went on meds….. ok…… well here i am now

 

 

I am FAR from those things now….makes me want to cry writing this but I am a MUCH happier person. I began training with Epi at 24 hr fitness (yes I paid over $2000). but there is NO limit on my health. I have ben training with him since December 30th, and now it is Feb 24th and I am down to 147lb…. I am really trying not to give up like I did last time I am trying to just keep on keeping on this time until i truly hit my goal of 130. no regrets this time. i feel so much better and healthier and i want to keep going