I told you I was the biggest F-ing loser, the biggest F-ing failure ever….. I said I would never weight 150 lb again, but guess what….. I STILL DO…. and guess what I have been eating for the past week.
The day before yesterday I secretly drove to Raising Canes and ate the Box combo like I was never going to be fed again.
Yesterday at 11am I went through the drive thru at burger king and ordered 1 whopper, and 10 piece chicken nugget (with a coke and water) just so it seemed like two separate orders…. I am so pathetic.
Then not even 2 hours later, I drove to the McDonald’s drive thru and ordered 2 cheeseburgers and fries, with a regular coke.
There has to be something I am missing… why am I doing this to myself???? My boyfriend is gone at boot camp WORKING HIS ASS off and all I am doing is eating my ASS ON. I promised myself that while he was gone I would get my shit together. I want him to be proud of me again, I want him to want to show me off. Not the fat ass who gained 20 pounds eating purely fast food shit. I disgust myself. I have never felt uglier in my life.
I have purchased weight loss books $25, a heart rate/calorie monitor $65, training sessions $400, yoga $60, healthy food $100… what is it going to take to get back to my starting 136 pounds…. even THEN I wasn’t at my goal, but now I am so much farther away…..
thefatgirl2012 